16 Jan “Our world came crashing down…” Marnie Jago’s Story
During Baby Loss Awareness Week 2019, we were deeply moved by stories from bereaved families and parents who had experienced the death of a baby. One of those parent’s was Marnie, whose baby boy Chester died. This is her story…
“It was my first pregnancy and at 24 weeks when I had to make the biggest decision of my life to terminate my pregnancy and say goodbye to my beautiful baby boy Chester.
It was at 22 weeks my husband and I discovered there were issues (albeit very small) with fluid on the ventricles in his brain. They were moderately raised above average. We weren’t worried at first and when we were sent for testing we were optimistic because this couldn’t happen to us! Could it?
However our world came crashing down when, after having an amino, we discovered our little boy had a very rare genetic disorder which would leave him severely disabled and with absolutely no quality of life. We were crushed and spent many hours crying or sitting numbly not knowing what to do.
Eventually, we decided that we didn’t want to bring our boy into the world where he would suffer and have an uncertain future and we decided, with heavy hearts, to terminate our pregnancy.
This was not what we wanted but with the amazing support from the doctors and midwives at the RVI in Newcastle we knew it was the right decision for us.
They gave us all the information and time we needed and offered support to help us cope. We were treated amazingly and after all we had been through the staff did their best to make a dreadful situation as bearable as possible by going above and beyond for me and my husband.
We were given a lovely memory box and prints and picture which we cherish. I was allowed to stay with my baby as long as I wanted and they helped me dress and bathe him.
I can not thank them enough. I feel sometimes people see terminations for medical reasons as a choice, and yes they are in a way but not a choice any mother or father ever wants to make.”
If you have experienced a similar trauma to Marnie, The Baby Loss Awareness Week Alliance are here to help.
Please visit our Organisations page to access contact details for your relevant Alliance charity.