12 Jan Mandy’s story
We’re lucky – we have a gorgeous, wonderful rainbow, an amazing miracle amidst the losses.
An early miscarriage shattering our rose tinted glasses, followed soon after by a missed miscarriage with painful medical management. And then a year of trying before an anxious, never relaxed pregnancy resulting in our amazing girl (now three). Falling pregnant just before her 1st birthday felt like everything was eventually falling into place and we were over the heartache. How wrong you can be.
Our 12 week scan all went well, then the blood test said we had a high chance of Down’s Syndrome. We did the SAFE test – it wasn’t Down’s, it was Patau’s. At that point, our baby was too small to confirm, but two weeks before we knew 100%. The decision was no decision at all, we couldn’t let him suffer, nor let our daughter suffer.
I chose to deliver him – a harrowing 48 hours in hospital, leaving with nothing but heartache and guilt.
Counselling, talking, being outdoors and having photos have helped a little. He won’t be forgotten.
There are many organisations that offer support to anyone affected by pregnancy and baby loss.
TFMR Mamas offers support for bereaved families who have lost a baby through Termination for Medical Reasons (TMFR).
Visit their website: www.tfmrmamas.com