He Lost His Baby Too

28 Sep He Lost His Baby Too

He may not say it, he may not show it, he just isn’t programmed that way

But his heart is broken, and he too carries the grief, through every moment, of every day

He lost his baby too

He wipes away her tears, then when no-one’s around he sheds his own

He’ll grieve in his own way, in his own time and often, he’ll grieve alone

He lost his baby too

He says he’s ok, he’s fine, keeping busy, just tired

As if creating that false pretence is an act to be admired

He lost his baby too

He’ll try to be strong, because that’s a rule of masculinity, right?

He doesn’t know it’s safe to show emotions, so he keeps them out of sight

He lost his baby too

He had envisioned a life with his child, visions that never came

He didn’t physically carry their baby but, he carries this absence all the same

He lost his baby too

He’ll go back to work, probably before his mind is in the right place

And people will think he’s doing better because he’s gone back but, that really isn’t the case

He lost his baby too

He won’t say if he’s struggling and, ‘how is dad doing?’ isn’t something that people generally ask

He doesn’t know how to respond so he hides behind his armour, hides behind his mask

He lost his baby too

He’s become a master of hiding, he’s perfected that disguise

But you’ll see unspoken pain, if you look deep into his eyes

He lost his baby too

So to all the dads grieving, rest, take the time you need to take

What you feel is completely normal, you’re safe, it’s ok for you to break

You lost your baby too

There are many organisations that offer support to anyone affected by pregnancy and baby loss.

Sands supports anyone affected by pregnancy loss or the death of a baby and works to save babies’ lives. Contact their Helpline via phone (0808 154 3332) or email, or visit their Support Groups online or via Zoom.