Pagan’s Story – Baby Loss Awareness Week

Pagan’s Story

Pagan’s Story

I work at the Window to the Womb Obstetric and Diagnostic clinic and at 18 weeks and three days on the 9th February we went for a gender scan. I laid in the room I have worked in countless times and was scanned by a sonographer who I knew very well.

Unfortunately, that also meant I could sense something was wrong when she went quiet. She informed us that our baby girl had sever spina bifida. We got referred to the NHS and had a confirmation scan on Wednesday the 12th February. Our little girl was too poorly to save and we had to make the heart-breaking decision to end the pregnancy. Our beautiful baby girl was born on Sunday the 16th February 2020 at 13:57.

So perfect and so beautiful. We miss her terribly and some days I’m amazed I am still even here myself. Our 6 year old Ellie would have been the best big sister.


There are many organisations that offer support to anyone affected by pregnancy and baby loss.

Petals is the baby loss counselling charity, offering free specialist counselling to women and partners who suffer psychological distress from trauma and grief related to pregnancy or baby loss. They can be reached via their helpline (0300 688 0068) & via email.

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