Tell us about good care

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Tell us about good care

Your experiences of pregnancy and baby loss: How did someone help you?

During Baby Loss Awareness Week, we wanted to raise awareness of what good care looks like to parents who have experienced the death of a baby. This could be anything, a few sensitive words or a small gesture. It could be from anyone: a friend, family member, midwife or colleague. We have collected a range of stories as examples of good care.

If you’d like to take part, please read through our guidelines below and send us your story by email to babyloss@sands.org.uk. Due to time constraints we are unable to respond to all emails, however we will publish all stories that follow the guidelines set out below.

Guidelines

Word count: Your story can be as short as you like, however we do ask that submissions are no longer than 150 words.

Content: This section of the Baby Loss Awareness Week website is a place for people affected by the death of a baby to share their experiences in a safe, online environment. Therefore we cannot accept any content that makes negative reference to specific individuals or organisations by name. This includes NHS Trusts, private healthcare organisations, non-profit organisations or healthcare professionals.

Originality of content: You agree that any content you offer for inclusion on the Baby Loss Awareness website is your original content that you have the express right and permission to license to us, does not infringe or violate any law, rule or regulation or the rights or intellectual property rights of any person or entity (or encourage anyone else to do so).

  • "We have found our new normal"

    We lost our baby boy last year.  I went into preterm labour at 23 weeks. He was here, we held him and named him and we cried and we tried to give him as much love as we could in the little time we had. Then he left taking a piece of my heart with him. I never thought I would smile again because the pain was so intense that I didn’t want to. We were lucky enough to receive maternity bereavement counselling and it helped us to grieve and create a space for our baby in our hearts and in our lives forever.  The heartache is still there but we have found our new normal to be able to carry on. This service is invaluable to families who lose a baby.

  • "The care we received was heartfelt"

    Our beautiful boy was born sleeping on 5/10/17 at 6.35 am.

    From the moment I got into the hospital as it was sudden and unexpected, I couldn’t have asked for a better team of nurses and women who took care and compassion to ensure I was supported all the way through the night till our son was born in the most delicate way possible. We got to spend precious time with him in privacy and the care we received was heartfelt at the most emotional time of our lives looking back we couldn’t have asked for any more.

    There is no pain like walking away from the hospital with empty arms but the small touches that were provided to us by the nursing team made the worst day of our life that little bit easier if those are the right words . Thanks to 4louis for the memory box so we could take prints of his hands & feet & the other touches and to Aching Arms for the memory bear which by no means takes the pain away but has helped us explain things to my daughter a little easier. #AB 💙

  • "It is this we choose to hold onto and remember"

    Being told while in labour that my son’s heartbeat couldn’t be found was the most devastating moment in my life. But people were kind, the midwife who moved us to a delivery suite away from crying newborns, the one who handed us Sands leaflets, the one who sat with our son as we left the hospital. The funeral director who made sure the hospital released his body so we could see him again, who said I’ll look after him, who enabled me to change his nappy, who made sure he was always in the quiet room when we went to sit with him.

    We faced ignorance, we faced those who couldn’t or wouldn’t acknowledge our son’s death. We lost friends because we weren’t “getting over” it quickly enough, but we are thankful everyday for the good care we were shown. It is this we choose to hold onto and remember.

  • "A credit to midwives everywhere"

    When I found out my babies heart had stopped beating at 32 weeks this June my life came crashing down.

    The midwife who informed us accompanied us throughout the experience. The whole hospital stay, before and after every shift on the day unit, she came to see how we were getting along in the bereavement suite and came to meet the baby and comfort us. This kind gesture backed up the support that was available in such a raw time. A credit to midwives everywhere.

  • "He wrote his own story"

    We had a little boy and when he was born he was diagnosed with a rare genetic condition. The doctors didn’t know how long he would be with us and he fought to stay for 6 months and gave us the most happiness in that time. One of the doctors said to us ‘he is writing his own story’ and that always stuck with us.

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