Sharing stories to help raise awareness

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Your experiences of baby loss: How did someone help you?

During Baby Loss Awareness Week 2016, we want to raise awareness of some of the issues surrounding the death of a baby. To do this, we’d like to hear about a time someone said or did something which helped you after your baby died.

This could be anything, a few sensitive words or a small gesture. Once you’ve shared your story with us we’ll add it to our website right here. The only criteria is that you share your story with us in 75 words or fewer and follow our guidelines.

If you’d like to take part, please read through our guidelines and send us your story via email to babyloss@uk-sands.org. Due to time constraints we are unable to respond to all emails, however we will publish all stories that follow the guidelines set out on our Get Involved page. Please note we are unable to publish stories that are over 75 words in length.

We have gathered these stories to provide a useful resource for anyone that would like information on ways to help and support families following the death of a baby.

  • "we were able to spend as much time with our little boy as we needed"

    The day I lost our little boy Thomas I felt like my heart had been ripped from my body. The respect and compassion shown during my time at the hospital after our loss is something I will never forget. Nothing was too much trouble and our every need was catered for. Most importantly, we were able to spend as much time with our little boy as we needed and for that we’ll be eternally grateful.

  • "We bought cheap crockery and used our back wall"

    Chris died aged eleven days. One friend saw us on the street and just stood and held his arms wide for me to fold into. It was enough.  A vicar friend said it was ‘ Faith by fingertips time’ and it was OK to be angry and shout at God. He could take it! He told us to throw  things when it got really unbearable. We bought  cheap crockery and used our back wall. It helped.

  • "there are no words"

    Baby Rose was born sleeping and the kindest words were so simple. My Nana, Rose’s Great Nana sent me a card and written in it was, “there are no words”. After those a words, a single kiss. She was right, sometimes there are no words, the pain is too much but knowing people care helps you through…somehow.

  • "used his name and remembered that he was real and existed"

    We lost our 2nd baby, Alex, at 21 weeks, after the 20 week scan found that he had no heartbeat. I was induced and delivered him 3 days later. The people who helped me most were those that used his name and remembered that he was real and existed, and wasn’t just a “lost pregnancy”.  Also those who told me they had lost babies too – it helped to know that we weren’t alone.

  • "these friends were always there to listen when others had moved on and forgotten"

    My husband and I lost a baby girl at 16 weeks im March 2015. I really struggled with this as it was only at this point it is treated as a late miscarriage or still birth. I therefore didn’t feel at times I could grieve properly as I wondered if people would think it was weird.  I went into labour, gave birth to her and she was fully formed. I had a couple of friends who really listened and always used her name (Eden) when talking about her. I was worried I had a limited time to grieve and have peoples support which I desperately needed but these friends were always there to listen when others had moved on and forgotten. This was an amazing help to me as healing takes time and you never truly forget.

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